New to crossdressing, or trying to understand someone who is? The community has its own vocabulary, and there's a lot of misinformation out there. Here are plain-English definitions of common terms, followed by the truth behind the most persistent myths.
A note on language: Words in this space change over time, and people have personal preferences. When in doubt, use the term a person uses for themselves. Terms marked dated are often considered outdated or offensive, and terms marked slang are informal.
Glossary of terms
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A
AMAB / AFAB
"Assigned male at birth" / "assigned female at birth." A neutral way to describe the sex someone was recorded as when born, without making assumptions about their identity today.
Androgynous
A look or presentation that blends masculine and feminine traits, or isn't clearly either.
B
Beard cover (color correction)
Makeup applied before foundation to cancel the blue-gray shadow of facial hair, usually an orange, peach, or red-toned corrector. One of the most important skills for a smooth feminine look.
Bigender
Someone who experiences two genders, either at the same time or moving between them. Some crossdressers find this word fits them; many don't.
Bodysuit
A one-piece garment, sometimes silicone, that adds a feminine shape such as breasts, hips, or a smooth front. Ranges from simple shapewear to full silicone "female bodysuits."
Boy mode (also: drab, guy mode)slang
Everyday masculine presentation, as opposed to being en femme. "Drab" is a folk acronym said to stand for "dressed as a boy."
Breast forms
Artificial breasts, usually silicone, worn in a bra pocket or attached with adhesive. They come in many shapes and weights; heavier silicone forms tend to move more naturally.
C
CD
Short for crossdresser. Common in forums, profiles, and personal ads.
Cisgender (cis)
Someone whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. Most crossdressers are cisgender men: they identify as men but enjoy feminine expression.
Clocked (also: read)slang
Being recognized as a man in feminine presentation. The opposite of passing.
Closet (closeted)
Keeping crossdressing secret from others. Many crossdressers are partly closeted: open with a partner or a few friends, private with everyone else.
Coming out (disclosure)
Choosing to tell someone about your crossdressing. It's an ongoing process, not one event, and you get to decide who, when, and how.
Contouring
Using darker and lighter makeup to reshape how the face looks, for example to soften a strong jaw, narrow a nose, or add the appearance of cheekbones.
Corset (waist cincher)
A structured garment that pulls in the waist to create an hourglass shape. Waist cinchers are a lighter, more flexible alternative. Build up wearing time gradually.
Crossdresser
A person who wears clothing and presentation typically associated with another gender. Most commonly describes men who dress in women's clothing part of the time but don't wish to live as women. It describes something a person does, not necessarily who they are.
D
Drag (drag queen)
Gender performance for entertainment, usually exaggerated and theatrical, done on stage. Drag is a performance art; crossdressing is usually personal and private. Some people do both.
Dressing (getting dressed, a "dressing session")
Shorthand within the community for the act of crossdressing, as in "I only get to dress once a month."
Gender dysphoria
Distress caused by a mismatch between someone's gender identity and their body or assigned sex. Most crossdressers don't experience significant dysphoria; for those who do, it can be worth talking with a gender-informed therapist.
E
En femme
From French, "as a woman." Being dressed and presenting in your feminine persona, as in "I went out en femme for the first time."
En homme
"As a man." The counterpart to en femme; the same as boy mode.
Gender euphoria
The joy, relief, or rightness someone feels when their presentation matches how they feel inside. Many crossdressers describe exactly this feeling when dressed.
F
Femme name (fem name)
The name a crossdresser uses for their feminine persona. Choosing one is a meaningful step for many people.
Feminization
In general use, the process of making one's appearance more feminine: makeup, clothing, shaping, voice, and mannerisms. (In some online spaces the word carries a fetish meaning, so context matters.)
Full-time / part-time
Whether someone presents in their preferred gender all the time (full-time) or only occasionally (part-time). Most crossdressers are part-time.
G
Gaff
A snug undergarment, like a very firm thong or panty, used to flatten and smooth the groin area for a feminine silhouette. Often used together with tucking.
Gender expression
How someone outwardly presents gender through clothes, hair, makeup, voice, and behavior. Crossdressing is about gender expression.
Gender fluid
Someone whose sense of gender shifts over time. Some crossdressers find this term fits them better than "crossdresser."
Gender identity
Someone's internal sense of their own gender. It's different from gender expression. A man can identify as a man and still enjoy feminine expression.
H
Hip pads
Foam or silicone inserts, often worn in padded panties or shapewear, that widen the hips and buttocks for a more feminine curve.
L
Lace front
A wig with a sheer lace panel along the hairline, with individual hairs tied in, so the hairline looks natural. More realistic than a standard wig but needs more careful handling.
M
Makeover studio (transformation service)
A business that provides private makeup, wigs, wardrobe, and sometimes photography for crossdressers. A popular, safe way to experience a full look for the first time.
Misgender
Referring to someone with the wrong pronouns or gendered words. Many part-time crossdressers are relaxed about pronouns; it's always polite to ask.
MtF (male-to-female)
Sometimes used to describe direction of presentation or transition. In the transgender community it's increasingly replaced by "trans woman."
N
Non-binary (genderqueer)
A gender identity that isn't exclusively man or woman. Different from crossdressing, though some people are both.
O
Outing
Revealing someone's crossdressing or gender identity without their permission. It can cause real harm and should never be done.
P
Passing (also: blending)
Being perceived by others as a woman (or simply not drawing attention) while en femme. Many people prefer the goal of "blending in" over passing perfectly. You don't need to pass to enjoy dressing or go out.
Pronouns
The words used to refer to someone: he/him, she/her, they/them. Some crossdressers use she/her when en femme and he/him otherwise.
Purge (purging)
Throwing away all of one's feminine clothing and items, usually out of guilt or shame, often with a vow to stop. Extremely common, and the urge almost always returns, which is why many people find self-acceptance more helpful than purging.
Who someone is romantically or sexually attracted to. It's separate from gender expression. Most male crossdressers are heterosexual.
Shapewear
Compression garments (briefs, camisoles, bodysuits, girdles) that smooth and shape the body under clothing. Readily available from mainstream retailers.
Second self
A phrase for one's feminine persona, popularized by the crossdresser support organization Tri-Ess (the Society for the Second Self).
T
T-girl slang
An informal umbrella term some people use for crossdressers and trans women. Preferences vary widely, so use it only if someone uses it for themselves.
Transgender (trans)
Someone whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. Sometimes used as a broad umbrella that includes crossdressers, but most crossdressers don't consider themselves transgender.
Transition
The process some transgender people go through to live as their gender. It can be social (name, pronouns, presentation), medical (hormones, surgery), or legal. Crossdressing doesn't involve transitioning.
Transvestic disorder
A clinical diagnosis in the DSM-5 that applies only when crossdressing-related arousal causes significant distress or problems in someone's life. Crossdressing itself is not a disorder.
Transvestite dated
An older clinical term for a crossdresser. Many people now find it outdated or offensive because of its medical and fetish associations; "crossdresser" is generally preferred.
Tri-Ess
The Society for the Second Self, a long-running US support organization for heterosexual crossdressers and their partners, founded in the 1970s.
Tucking
Positioning the genitals so the groin looks flat and smooth, usually held in place with a gaff or tight underwear. Go gently, and stop if anything hurts.
W
Wig cap
A thin nylon or mesh cap worn under a wig to hold your own hair flat and help the wig sit securely.
Wig density
How much hair is on a wig, usually given as a percentage. Lower densities (around 120–130%) tend to look more natural; higher densities look fuller and more glamorous.
Most of what people "know" about crossdressing comes from jokes, old movies, and talk shows. Here's what's actually true.
MythAll crossdressers are gay.
Sexual orientation and gender expression are separate things. Surveys of crossdressers have consistently found that most identify as heterosexual, and many are married to women. Crossdressers can be any orientation.
MythCrossdressers secretly want to become women.
Most crossdressers are comfortable living as men and simply enjoy expressing a feminine side some of the time. For a smaller number, crossdressing is part of discovering a transgender identity. Both are valid, but one doesn't automatically lead to the other.
MythCrossdressing is a mental illness.
Crossdressing in itself isn't considered a mental disorder. The DSM-5 diagnosis of transvestic disorder applies only when it causes significant distress or problems in someone's life. Often that distress comes from shame and secrecy, not from the dressing itself.
MythIt's always a sexual fetish.
For some people there's a sexual element, especially when they're younger. But many crossdressers describe it mainly as relaxation, comfort, creativity, or a sense of beauty and gentleness. For many, any sexual element fades over time while the enjoyment remains.
MythCrossdressing and drag are the same thing.
Drag is a public performance art, usually exaggerated and done for an audience. Crossdressing is usually personal and private, and often aims for an everyday, realistic look rather than a show.
MythIt's caused by bad parenting, or by something a wife did.
There's no evidence that parents or partners cause crossdressing. Most crossdressers say the interest started in childhood or early adolescence. It isn't anyone's fault.
MythIf you throw everything out, the urge will go away.
The purge cycle is one of the most common experiences in the community, and the desire almost always comes back. Many people find that accepting this part of themselves and setting healthy limits works far better than trying to eliminate it.
MythIt's just a phase you'll grow out of.
For most people it's a lifelong interest that may get stronger or quieter at different times. Many men return to it, or start openly, in middle age or retirement.
MythHardly anyone does this.
It's more common than most people think. Exact numbers are hard to pin down because so many people keep it secret, but research suggests a few percent of men have crossdressed at some point. Most are never visible, which makes it seem rarer than it is.
MythA married crossdresser must not really love his wife.
Crossdressing says nothing about the depth of someone's love or commitment. Many crossdressers are devoted husbands who hid it out of fear of losing their partner. Plenty of couples build honest, happy marriages that include it. See our resources for partners.
MythYou have to "pass" to go out in public.
Very few people look flawless, cisgender women included. Confidence, well-fitting age-appropriate clothes, and good manners matter far more than perfection. Most people in public are focused on their own day, not yours. Start somewhere friendly and safe.
MythCrossdressers are trying to deceive people.
Crossdressing is about self-expression, not tricking anyone. Most crossdressers are far more worried about being judged than interested in fooling others.
Want to explore what crossdressing means for you? Our private, browser-based self-reflection tools can help you sort out your own feelings, with no labels and nothing stored on our servers.
This glossary is general information for education, not medical or psychological advice. Language in this community evolves; if you think a definition should be added or updated, please leave a comment. ↑ Back to top