By Jenn der Bentson

Crossdressing has long been a contentious topic, not only in broader society but sometimes it is also within the LGBTQ+ community. While some embrace crossdressing as an expression of identity, fashion, or artistic freedom, others view it with skepticism or outright disapproval. Within certain sectors of the LGBTQ+ community it is not supported by some of those who might otherwise be expected to stand in solidarity.

Crossdressing refers to the act of wearing clothing traditionally associated with a gender other than one’s own. For some, it is a form of personal expression, a means to explore different aspects of their identity, or simply a preference in fashion. The practice of crossdressing is not new. Historical records show that people have been crossdressing for centuries, often for practical, political, or theatrical reasons. However, in modern times, crossdressing is often associated with various subcultures, from drag performance to fetish communities. This diversity in purpose and expression is part of what makes crossdressing such a complex and often misunderstood topic.

Crossdressing touches on several sensitive issues, including gender identity, societal norms, and sexual orientation. These factors contribute to its controversial status, particularly within the LGBTQ+ community.

Crossdressers may or may not identify as transgender; many maintain their gender identity while enjoying the experience of dressing in the clothing of another gender. This seems to be at the root of part of the problem. Many in the LGBTQ+ community seem to look down on “part-time” crossdressers as “posers” or “inauthentic” or not real representations of “trans.” As if their desire to periodically or in a limited way makes them unable to be a part of “the community” or somehow infers that they are making fun of this community.

This is certainly not the case for many crossdressers. Many simply do not fall on the same sector of the spectrum as others, some legitimately want to be able to express different gender profiles at different times, or have different motivations for their crossdressing desires. 

Crossdressing challenges traditional binary notions of gender, which can be unsettling for those who adhere to more conventional views of masculinity and femininity. In many societies, gender roles are deeply ingrained, and any deviation from these roles can provoke discomfort, hostility, or even violence. For those who believe in strict gender boundaries, crossdressing can seem like a rejection of the natural order.

This also seems to be the case when a crossdresser “doesn’t go all in” and become “trans”. The difference may seem subtle to some, but in the community it is more poignant. Those that do not fully espouse changing their gender representation or identity are sometimes shunned as inauthentic and unable to understand the full challenges that are faced by those that are “fully trans”. This certainly seems to be rather judgemental to me and lacks recognition by those who see themselves as the gatekeepers of “what counts” of the fact that they are acting more like the cool kids in high school denying legitimacy to anyone that doesn’t adjust to their perceived norms. It actually pushes those who don’t feel like “they belong” into being more restrictive with sharing their personal expressions due to an expectation of being degraded and not accepted.

The LGBTQ+ community is incredibly diverse, encompassing a wide range of identities and experiences. For some within the community, crossdressing raises difficult questions about the nature of gender and sexual identity. For example, some transgender individuals seem to feel that crossdressing trivializes or undermines their experience of gender dysphoria. Others view crossdressing as a form of appropriation, where cisgender individuals temporarily adopt the appearance of another gender without understanding the struggles faced by those who live with gender incongruence every day.

Despite the shared experience of marginalization, crossdressers do not always find support from other sectors of the LGBTQ+ community.

Crossdressers often face misconceptions and stereotypes that complicate their acceptance. Some people mistakenly believe that all crossdressers are gay, transgender, or mentally ill, while others view crossdressing as a sexual fetish or perversion. These misconceptions can lead to stigmatization and marginalization, not only from mainstream society but also from within the LGBTQ+ community. Much research has actually shown that a large percentage of crossdressers, especially male ones, are heterosexual individuals who just like to express their gender differently at times. One would think the LGBTQ+ community would actually engage with these individuals as more understanding allies in the community instead of shunning them.

This does not mean that all sectors of the spectrum have, or are required to have, the same goals and agendas though. The LGBTQ+ community is not monolithic; it is composed of various groups with different goals, experiences, and priorities. For example, the gay and lesbian communities have historically focused on issues related to sexual orientation, such as marriage equality and anti-discrimination laws. In contrast, transgender activists have prioritized the fight for gender recognition and healthcare access. Crossdressing, which is often more about gender expression than sexual orientation or gender identity, does not always fit neatly into these existing agendas. As a result, it can be overlooked or deprioritized.

Just as mainstream society has its norms and biases, so too does the LGBTQ+ community. Some individuals within the community may internalize mainstream views on gender and sexuality, leading them to distance themselves from crossdressers. This can be particularly true in spaces that are seeking to gain broader acceptance and avoid being seen as “too radical” or “too different.” In these cases, crossdressing at times gets viewed as a fringe behavior that could undermine efforts to normalize LGBTQ+ identities.

The LGBTQ+ community has long fought against harmful stereotypes that portray gay men as effeminate or transgender people as deceptive. Some fear that crossdressing reinforces these stereotypes by blurring the lines between gender identity and sexual orientation. This concern can lead to a reluctance to embrace or support crossdressing, especially in contexts where the community is striving to present a more “mainstream” image.

Crossdressers, particularly those who are cisgender and white, may be seen as enjoying a certain level of privilege compared to other members of the LGBTQ+ community. For example, a cisgender man who crossdresses may still benefit from male privilege in his day-to-day life, even if he experiences discrimination while crossdressing. For many, this is part of why they hide this part of themselves from the general public, their co-workers, and for many, even their own families. This perception of privilege can create tension, particularly among those who feel that their own struggles with gender identity or sexual orientation are not being adequately acknowledged or addressed.

Many crossdressers do want to keep their activities relatively private. For many, it is for them, not as an outward show to the public. Few people see the struggle of how hard it is for a crossdresser who doesn’t want to share that side of themselves in their everyday experience. The activity is not something they are doing out of a desire to eventually “transition”. This is seen by many in the LGBTQ+ community as someone just “pretending” part-time because they “can go back to their normal life” when they want to take off the clothing and makeup. It belies the question of how many of those crossdressers might in fact want to dress more frequently in an alternate gender expression if there were not present negative social pressures that make them feel like it is not welcome and accepted.

I have seen too many posts and videos and even heard people in the LGBTQ+ community physically say that “crossdressers just don’t go through the same things” that they do. As if somehow crossdressing makes the person less “gender fluid” or that they are somehow just “posing” as what the real thing is, a person who is committed to fully transitioning their gender.

Crossdressing, especially for straight, heterosexual males, isn’t seen as “sheek” for “cool”

Our current cultural and media conditions are pushing to be accepting of gay and trans individuals, but they do not do the same for crossdressing.

The message that is put out there seems to be it’s OK to cross dress as long as you keep it in the closet and don’t bother anybody else with it, which is a big part of the problem

There seems to be some sort of a view of the cross dressing is somehow less valid and just a king, that being gay, or being trans is more right and excepted, yet these two communities who preach acceptance, don’t want to give acceptance to people that are wanting to express some gender fluidity, but not permanent.

While crossdressing may remain controversial within certain sectors of the LGBTQ+ community, we can hope that in the future there will be movement toward greater understanding and inclusion. The goal would be to recognize diversity of gender expression is a strength, not a weakness, and have the LGBTQ+ embraces all of its iterations.

One of the most effective ways to combat misconceptions and foster understanding is through education and dialogue. By creating spaces where crossdressers can share their experiences and engage with others, the community can begin to break down the barriers that lead to division and exclusion. This can also help to dispel myths and stereotypes, leading to greater acceptance both within and outside the LGBTQ+ community.

Intersectionality, the idea that different forms of oppression are interconnected, is a key principle in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights. By embracing an intersectional approach, the community can ensure that the needs and experiences of crossdressers are considered alongside those of other marginalized groups. This might involve advocating for broader definitions of gender expression in anti-discrimination laws, or ensuring that crossdressers are included in discussions about gender-based violence.

Building alliances across different sectors of the LGBTQ+ community is something that can be enhanced to foster a sense of solidarity and shared purpose. By recognizing the common struggles faced by all members of the community, from gay men and lesbians to transgender people and crossdressers, the community can present a united front in the fight for equality and acceptance.

Crossdressing will likely continue to be a controversial topic, both within and outside the LGBTQ+ community. But making topics more accepted by groups that one would think would be more supportive is a first step in helping crossdressers be more accepted than they are currently. The stigma that comes with it and the degrading perceptions do real and damaging harm to the individuals who want to express this way. They face family challenges, shame if they are “outed” in many cases, and in too frequent of cases go through depressive cycles trying to hide or hold down the desires to express themselves through crossdressing. In the worst of cases, lack of acceptance generates divorces, loneliness, depression, and self-damaging behaviors.

Until it is more accepted, it will continue to be shunned and looked down upon. For those seeking acceptance of their own expressions, it is disappointing to see that they are not accepting of others’ attempts to do so in their own way.